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Tel Quel

je sais bien mai quand même

I feel bad for those who’ve used keyword searches and expected it to lead them somewhere deeper and more meaningful, instead they arrive here; a graveyard of memories both obsolete and freshly dug, but resplendent with occasional offerings of carnations, posies and in particular forget-me-nots. Five petals, one for each word.

This will be the last time I cross the road with my nose in a book. It wasn’t intentional but it’d be horrible to leave my room in a mess like that, and I didn’t even get to thank my mother yet. It’d be horrible, in general. Still, I finished Winterson in a day: that, I was proud of. And it is as her mock staging goes, I’ve ignored their(her) forlorn one-sided repartee, the fact that the naked woman talks too much, the fact that she replaces the center of the universe in the figments of her imagination: the lone sufferer, the virgin, saint and martyr. End scene. No, all that attracts me is “When I try to read, it’s you I’m reading.” It took me one hundred pages to realise that all my microscopic, illegible but fervent annotations at the sides had no specific purpose, no literary importance. The cataclysmic affection of lines, parantheses and curves were a conflation of all the cryptic expressions meant for you to decipher, and for you alone. Or was it for myself for reasons beyond th.. I hear tires screech through my skin and the infuriated click of car doors, sharp as a revolver. I apologise profusely, sincerely.

My favourite chapter is”The Skeleton”. It’s insane, this mental harvesting of words, colour and sound. The Scapula.“Shuttered like a fan no-one suspects your shoulder blades of wings. You are a fallen angel but still as the angels are; body light as a dragonfly, great gold wings cut across the sun.” I ravish syllables and rhythm as they transpose into meaningful cyphers, hiding key and clue beneath the arches of consonants and between the spaces of vowels.

And the last page, may I read it aloud?


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